How to love your INFJ?

(Found this linked here)


This thread is for tips for those who have INFJs in their lives, but are not INFJs themselves. I’ve noticed that there are quite a few members here who are looking for this sort of advice, so this is the place to offer it – be the relationships romantic, friendly, professional, or otherwise.

Here are my tips for the Proper Care of Your INFJ if you are in a romantic relationship with us.

1. Your INFJ adores you more than they can express with words. Even if they don’t tell you verbally, they will show you how they feel through their patience, kindness, and willingness to please you.

2. Thank your INFJ with sincere hugs and kisses, and tell us you appreciate the things that we do for you. Just knowing that you’re aware of it is reward enough to keep us overjoyed (and enthusiastically continuing to do all the things you love that we do for you).

3. If an INFJ is in a romantic relationship with you, they consider you their number one priority in life. Your happiness and well being are the most important things in their lives.

4. Your INFJ can sense your emotions even more acutely than if you were telling us with words. We can feel what you are feeling. Don’t be alarmed by this as we will never use it against you. However, this means you can never lie to us. If you try, we will know, it will hurt our feelings badly that you did.

5. We love it when you just walk up to us and hold us. No words. Nothing complicated. Just gently wrap your arms around us and focus on how you feel about us. We can feel it like it is pouring out of you and into us. Don’t be alarmed if we cry when you do this.

6. We love to listen. Don’t be afraid to tell us what is on your mind, even if we didn’t ask. We love you and respect your privacy, and don’t like to pry.

7. We also love it when you listen to us. Please ask us questions to show us that you care, and let us talk when you do. The more intently you are interested in how we feel and what we have to say, the more we will love you.

8. Sometimes we need to recharge our minds, and will sit and stare blankly into space. This is perfectly normal, as your INFJ is rebooting their amazing mind. Systems will be online again shortly.

9. We thrive in an environment with just you, and a few of our closest loved ones. The more opportunities you help us create for these kinds of environments, the happier we will be.

10. We don’t do well in crowds for extended periods. We will join you in them if that’s where you want to go, but please be mindful of the duration of contact. INFJs may become unresponsive and even irritable when exposed to crowds for too long.

11. While we are extremely affectionate with you, we’re generally not interested in being affectionate with anyone else, and physical contact with strangers may unsettle your INFJ. It is best to keep strangers from attempting to pet your INFJ.

12. Your INFJ accepts you for everything you are. However, INFJs can be especially eccentric. If you accept your INFJ’s eccentricities and peculiar interests, this will greatly increase your INFJ’s happiness.

13. INFJs are otherwise very self sufficient low maintenance pets, and can be left to their own little worlds for extended periods. However, infrequent moments of affection are always appreciated.

14. Always kiss your INFJ goodnight and tell them that you love them, even if you’re not going to sleep when they do.

15. Always cuddle with your INFJ when they wake up and greet their day with love.

16. Your INFJ will have a reflex to help others. Do not be alarmed by this, as it does not in any way reflect on how your INFJ feels about you, or your relationship. It is simply our nature to help others – sometimes to a degree that makes the ones we love assume they are less of a priority. Nothing could be further from the truth.

17. Your INFJ is a planner. Sometimes spontaneity leaves us in a position that we cannot plan how to best make you happy, and we find this upsetting. Please understand that we are never upset with you, only the situation.

18. Your INFJ is very idealistic and principled. If you need us to go against our ideals or principles to make you happy, this can cause us a great deal of internal turmoil and tension. Please be mindful of our ideals and principles and avoid asking us to go against them.

19. When an INFJ’s ideals or principles are offended, we will pull away quickly. This may look very similar to our normal modes of being lost in our heads to the untrained eye, as we do not like to cause tension or disharmony. To best care for your INFJ, learn to spot this reaction and quickly make right whatever was wrong, even if it is simply an opinion. This will bring us back to the harmony we need to be our healthiest.

20. No one will ever love you as much as your INFJ.

Two different worlds

Ryan likes to joke at times that I live in the clouds and he is grounded. I think that I've talked about on here before how my husband and I are complete opposites! He is an ESTP personality type, while I am an INFJ. This definitely makes for some interesting times in our house hold. Today I was reminded of one. Let me set the scene...

I'm in planning mode. Planning out my week, packing, what myself, the little one and Ryan need on the road, and general panicking at the upcoming road trip. Not to mention crawling out of my own skin out of being anxious to see my husband after 5 months.

Ryan...

Cool as a cucumber. Prepping the car, the apartment, wrapping things up at work, ect.

I asked him today if he was excited. His reply "I thought you figured my personality out after 9 months of pregnancy." I remember talking to his father about this all when I was pregnant. I was curious (and a little frustrated at the time) as to why Ryan wasn't giddy as a school girl, like I was. Ryan's personality is one of seeing things through to the end. Sure enough, the day our daughter was born he was happy as a clam. Tired, but thrilled.

So I guess, sometimes he does ground me...*grin* So I, in my boredom, tonight, started googling our personality types. Here are some funnies I found for my INFJ ways:

As a Battlestar Galactica lover (so need to finish it up...), I love this one. I also love that it's Apollo, one of my favorite characters.







And of course...one for Ryan:

So...where is your husband?

(Looking at my old blog, I found this post...enjoy!)




Who knows what made me think about this today, but, here are some funny ways I've explain where my husband is when the Navy kidnaps him away. Keep in mind this are coming from a Trident/Missile Tech wife.

1) He is playing hide and go seek. (This one gets interesting looks.)
2) Business trip. (I usually say this when people won't leave me alone when it comes to asking about where Ryan is.)
3) He'll be back in X amount of time. (This can vary from a guestimate of the time or me saying 3 months, when I know the pull in date is next week.)
4) Playing air boss. (He controls the only thing with potential for flight on a trident. Plus, I can neither confirm nor deny him answer the phone at launcher with "Tower, Air boss.")
5) Being a rocket scientist. (Well...he is!)
6) Off being Navy Boy. (Typical answer for NOTU ops because I really don't want to explain FCETs to people, plus that entire OPSEC thing...lol.)
7) Playing with seamen. (Yes, I'm a sick puppy, and my mind has been warped by a missile tech. Fear me. *grin*)
8) Somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean. (I get neat looks from this one. It also shuts up "Where does he go when he is on the sub?" They don't believe "I don't know.")
9) Re-inacting Down Periscope. (Need I say more?)
10) Driving some khaki crazy. (I believe this is one of the main jobs of Missile Techs.)
11) Memorizing OPNAVs. (Boredom + Fire control = Really bored Ryan. This, however, is usually done after all other means of entertainment have been exhausted.)
12) Pissing off the back aft folk. (He is nuke waste. So, he knows them too well.)
13) Being practical jokester #1. (I love my husband's sick, twisted sense of humor.)
14) Doing strange things with DitDots. (I never knew what DitDots were until I married Ryan. Well I knew what they were, just not the term DitDots. Oh the possibilities I have learned.)
15) Inventing new forms of rickey rockets. (I'm still not allowed to have a true rickey rocket. Something about the caffine going straight to my already overly active hyperness.)

Sometimes you have to go home again...

My time back here in Louisiana is coming to a close. It's been an interesting 5 months. I will say that the long nights have lead to lots of thinking. I got back into a lot of my old hobbies - writing, roleplaying and guiding. Writing is good for me. As Ryan tells me sometimes, I'm too artsie fartsie for my own sake. Writing gives me an outlet. Even if it just sits on my computer or in a journal. Roleplaying also gives me a creative outlet that I've been missing.

Also, the time here helped me stop some bad habits. I got too sucked into EQ2 before we left. It was causing my to neglect some of the real world, and I'm sorry for that. I do miss raiding, but I'm happy in my little nook of the world there now. Not to mention, I re-connected with some long lost friends. Silly rangahs and druids, among others!

For all the frustrations that a two year old brings, I've gotten to spend a lot of time with her and understand her a lot better. I've got to seem her start talking and turn into this sponge, craving knowledge. In some terms, she is a completely different kid from when we left. I does hurt me that Ryan misses some of these milestones. I guess that is why I try to take so many videos and photos. I also emailed him during patrol about all her adventures.

As I sit here listening to videos on Vevo, I just think about what all has happened. I'm getting insanely nervous for some reason about being back with Ryan, but I always get that feeling after a patrol. I do feel more "myself" than I have in awhile. We'll see if it holds out once we're back in Georgia. I think and hope it will. I have proven to myself that I can make life work when Ryan is gone. I needed to prove that to myself.

Now coming up we have the hard part of this trip - the saying good bye. Those always kill me. This will also be the first time that Alison's been old enough to "get" that part. It's always bitter sweet. I'm happy beyond belief to be back with Ryan, but sad to know my parents will be upset. We'll be back here after the first of the year though to finish work on my mouth. Not to mention the ever fun, getting back used to being around Ryan. I do think that part is hard for him, especially with Alison. I just have to remember to be patient. (Someone remind me to be patient...LOL)

My hopes for vacation:
- Alone time with my hubby (I love my daughter...but I haven't gotten much alone time with Ryan in her almost 3 years on this Earth. lol)
- Seeing what Ali thinks of Phoenix and the road trip. She seemed to have a ball on the Louisiana leg of this adventure. Now she has loads more words, so that will be fun.
- To take Alison to see pandas. Oh this will be interesting. She's also requested to see a mountain. (She currently thinks that anything hill-like, taller than her, is a mountain...)
- To just have fun and attempt to not stress. (I fully expect Ryan to get me drunk to keep me from stressing...LOL. Or knock me over the head with a rock.)

And of course, to conclude this rambling mess...some of my favorite videos from this summer:



I love just about anything Shakira. The woman has always fascinated me. I'd love to see her in concert one day. And speaking of here...this is another video of her's that I love:



I am absolutely amazed with the dance routine. It's beautifully passionate. Never seen anything like it. Love it!



Yes, I discovered Adam Lambert. This song is the cause. Yes, he is a little quirky, but some of the songs are rather catchy. And listening to this song, I've officially been married to Ryan too long. I catch myself figuring out parodies. When he sings the line, "I've got a boots on.." my mind sings "I've got my stripper heels on." (Which is actually a line later in the song. LOL)

I hope everyone has had a good summer. I should still be able to blog/get online some from the in-laws house. Stay safe!

The 3 year plan

I've come to the decision that there are somethings that I want to accomplish before I turn 30. You can say this summer gave me lots of time to think, and a few choice kicks in the butt from the husband unit to get things rolling. So, I figure I could blog about it, to sort of put it down for me to follow. Or atleast try.

1) Get Healthy - This includes a few things. I want to loose 100lbs. I'm giving myself sometime. I know changing my eating habits will take a bit, plus I really need my teeth totally done. That brings me to the other part, finish my teeth and get the implants. Ryan pushed me to get it done, and I've started it. I want to see it through. I also need to get my ear re-checked. It's due, and I've been putting it off.

2) Work on myself - Try to keep mellowing out. I also would love to get back to school. It'll take a bit. I also want to keep writing and get back into old hobbies that I've missed. Also take time for myself, which I've neglected lately.

3) Work on family - Make sure to spend time with my husband and daughter. Not to get so sucked into something to neglect the world around me. I also wouldn't mind alteast being pregnant again by the end of this three year plan. Alison asks me about babies. I tell her maybe one day. I'd also like to start working with her on homeschool stuff. Making the most of our days. I also want to keep being a good and supportive wife to Ryan, especially with him being back on sea duty.

In three years, I will be 30, married for ten years, and have a six year old. I want to get myself healthy to hopefully avoid some of the medical issues that my family has struggled with. I also want to be healthy so that when I get pregnant again there aren't as many risks. Like Ryan told me one time, sometimes you have to make the hard choices. Put yourself and your needs before your wants. As much as I want another child, I need to be healthier first.

I guess we'll see where this plan leads over the next three years. I have good hopes. I work well with plans and goals.

The Eatting of Eat, Pray, Love

I recently decided to join a book club. (Yes, the slow reader...in a book club...Blame the Nook.) This club is over at Cloth Diaper Nation, which covers much more than cloth diapers. (We're a diverse bunch, what can I say? *grin*) Our first selection that we voted on was Eat, Pray, Love. This is a memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert. To get down to basics, this book is broke up into 3 separate books. Gilbert has a pretty neat explanation behind her division of the book, which I won't spoil. The first book, Eat, covers her time in Italy.

(If you'd like no spoilers, stop reading now. I will try to keep them at a minimum regardless.)


This first book does explore the back story of what prompted Gilbert's trek around the world. There is a span of a few years that Gilbert finds herself in a very dark place. They are also experiences that you can relate to with her writing about them. She describes some very painful memories with the clarity of hindsight. During this time period, September 11th happens. The destruction and chaos of New York during that time seems to mirror her real life during the same period. A couple of years past that point, she finds her self clear of the baggage and on a voyage to Italy.

Gilbert has a love affair with Italy and the Italian language. She makes the final choice to go on this world adventure to regain some of herself. After a divorce, heartache, and the word of a medicine man, she takes a leap of faith of sorts. Despite some shakey days, she does find her footing in Italy. Drowning herself in the food and gelato of Rome, Gilbert finds that she can be happy without needing someone else there. She also completes a life long dream of learning to speak Italian.

So far the book as been a fair quick read. Some of the starting chapters are a little tough to get into. We'll see if that continues in Pray and Love. A lot of the writing seems to be very stream of conscious. As if Gilbert and the reader are sitting down over a platter of the finest pizza from Naples while she tells of about the grand adventure. I am curious to see just how the upcoming movie will portray some of these stories. Will it be in a chronological order or done via flashbacks like some of the chapters of Eat do? We'll see.

Now...time to Pray.

Boobs: Breastfeeding Awareness!

August is Breastfeeding Awareness Month. Over the last two and half years, I've become a very large supporter of breastfeeding. I still remember when I got pregnant and not really thinking about it. I just knew I wanted to try breastfeeding. My first "goal" was 6 months. I figured with the rough start that my daughter and I had, that we'd be lucky to reach that goal. Fast forward to about when she was 28 months, and she self weaned. 15ish of those months were almost exclusively breastfeed because the silly girl wanted nothing to do with solid foods.

I still remember many times from about 6 months to about a year old, people would see this chunky monkey baby on my hip and ask me "What do you feed her?" "Umm...95% breast milk." Then about the time they picked their jaws off of the floor, they would be telling me how awesome that was. I had a few people that were not as supportive, but I learned early on in my daughter's life to do what worked for us, not someone else. I still remember from day 1, my husband told me that feeding the babe was my department and to let him know if I needed help. He was a huge support for me during the sometimes endless nights with teething and growth spurting. Making sure I stayed calm so that my milk wasn't affected. My daughter's pediatrician was also very supportive of her breastfeeding as long as we did. Many times he said "Why mess with what is working?"

I do hope that breastfeeding looses some of the stigma that it has here in the States. Why should I have to stop on the 1 year birthday? Especially now when it's recommended to go for two years. It seemed that I got more "odd" comments the longer we went past a year. Would I go past two years again? If the baby wanted it and it worked for us, sure. Do I think I treated my daughter with a disservice because I breastfed her for so long? Nope. I have a two year old that knows and understands that breasts are there for milk making. (She'll point to her's and say "MILK!") I also have so many wonderful memories of snuggling with my baby girl over the years. I can only hope to have those same memories with any other children I might have.

And from the geek side of me, I can blame breastfeeding for turning my daughter into a geek. Many times, when she was an infant, the only way I could get her to relax was to lay her on my boppy pillow and make sure it was touching my computer desk. It made the pillow vibrate just slightly. She was nurse to sleep and occasionally watch whatever game I was playing. (World of Warcraft then and later on Everquest 2) Hell, the computer room was where she slept many nights because of the white noise.

I will never forget while we were still in the hospital after Ali's birth. I think she was a day or two old. She was epic nursing like newbies do. I had my breakfast on my tray, munching on it. I also had my laptop up browsing some forums. The nursery nurse came in and just laughed. She was amazed that Ali was my first. She said I looked like it was old habits. The nurses at the hospital I delivered Ali at were truely a great kick start to the breastfeeding. They were majorly supportive and helpful to make sure we got it down pat. I thank them for that.

I can only hope that by the time my children have kids, that the breastfeeding statics will be more along with the rest of the world. That Ali won't have to worry about being told to go to the bathroom to feed her child, ect. Would you want to eat your meal in a public restroom? Do bottle feeding Mom's have to feed their children in a restroom? I do believe in being modest and covering up/minimalizing the exposed breast. I don't think that warrants making the breastfeeding mom feel wrong for just feeding her child. I just can hope that those points of views will change. It's not gross. Breasts have been objects by which to feed babies for years before they were sexualized.

The thing that always gets me the most about the American controversy over breastfeeding in public: There is more skin on television and magazine covers than a breastfeeding mom exposes.

Here is a link to the World Health Organization's fact sheet on breastfeeding:

Fun facts