So outside of my goals I've set for my photography (learning my camera more, getting a new lens, and hopefully making the top 20 on 365), I also want to blog more. Lately on 365, I've gotten comments that the writing in my captions is very well done. I've always loved to write, and well, I really want to keep this blog up to date for once. So we'll see, right?
The husband unit has been on leave, so we've been enjoying some down times. It's been a trial and error process on getting new routines established for Ali with us being back home. Things are mellowing out now it seems. She's a lot like her daddy, change does not phase them much. I'm the one that goes "OMG PANIC!" at change.
I've started Year 2 already for 365. I'm a month out from finishing my first year. I'm proud of myself that I've stuck with it, even if I had a month of filler shots due to a broke camera. I still stuck it out. Ali and I started a project for her, but her want to do it seems to have died off in the excitement of Christmas, Daddy, and the trip back home. I can't blame her. That's a lot for a four year old to comprehend and take in!
Here are a few of my shots recently:
I also started a facebook page to show my pictures on for folks not on 365. Moody Rainbow Photography is the page! It's just to show things as I learn. It's been a fun 11 months learning so far, so I can't wait to see what the new year brings.
So, I've been horrible about keeping this up lately. I seem to do fine with my written journal, but this blog, not so much. I need to find a focus I think. Maybe put together some Theme days or something. We'll see. I know it'll probably be artsie or something dealing with my little one. Or both. Enough with that rambling, how about some catching up!
I've been married for almost eight years. When I met my husband, I had never really known anyone in the military. I had grew up next to one of the largest Air Force bases, but that's about it. I still remember to this day, he sat me down and laid out all of the facts of how his schedules work. It can be emotionally taxing at times, especially now that we have a daughter. For all the time away (with little to no communication), to the long, wonky hours, to the times he is home, it's all worth it. I share him with the sea, but I don't mind. A little salt water makes him happy and makes him who he is. I wouldn't change that for the world. I'm so grateful that I have him in my life.
The picture is of my wive's dolphins. They are a miniature version of his submarine qualification pin. Dolphins are the symbol of the submarine fleet.
So this week, I went to the beach for the first time since marrying a sailor. (Well, for the first time without him with me.) We went to go watch for his submarine to come in from sea. I could so get lost just looking out at the water. It was a very surreal experience, and one I could see myself getting hooked on. In a dream world, I'd love to have a house on the beach, where I could watch the waves each day. Wondering just where in the blue horizon he was. This notion made my husband giggle because 1) I can not swim and wouldn't want to go to far into the water. and 2) Because of my ear, I'm pretty sure I'd be a lovely sea sickness patient.
But you know what I came to realize is very true this week? I have a connection to the sea, the water and the waves. That salty water smell, the sound of the waves crashing, the slight dampness in the air. All of them remind me of my husband. I felt so at comfort and peace on that beach. Part of that was probably the fact I knew I'd see him in a short time, but the other was just that it felt right to be there.
The past week or so, I've been trying to spend some extra quality time with my daughter. She's had a rough spell lately. It's been nice to watch the world through her eyes. She's such a vibrant little girl, and she manages to dream up these magical words.
We've been having fun little movie days, craft days, and walks when the weather is nice. Sometimes she reminds me of the silvertongues in Inkheart. (I've only seen the movie, though.) People that can tell you a story, and it comes to life. I love listening to her describe things she sees.
For as stressful and painful as it is during deployments, I definitely do treasure this time with her. We miss him a ton, but we're making it through. I'm definitely trying to look on the bright side of things and just make the best.
2010 has been an interesting year. First year back on "normal" sea duty and also Alison's first dealings with patrol. Also a year that showed me just what I can handle and deal with when I don't have Ryan to lean on. (And when he needs me to be the strong one.) This year has also seen some friendships come to an end, while others are blooming and going strong. It's been a year of ups and downs, but general good overall.
I hope that 2011 brings us good times. Ryan takes the chief's test again in January. Alison is 3 now and growing like a weed. I hope to finish my teeth repair as well as get my license. (As well as working on that entire fear of driving thing.) I also hope to show myself that I can do things on my own. That I am as strong as Ryan tells me that I am. I also hope that 2011 is a little less dramatic. The end of 2010 has proven to be rough in the drama department, and I would love a break from that. (A three year old is plenty of drama. lol)
So I as I sit here alone (Alison and Ryan are both already passed out asleep), I hope everyone has a good holiday. I plan to start up another blog (while hopefully keeping this one more active) while Ryan is gone. It'll be an outlet for my roleplay writing and just other general writing. That way the folks that want to avoid the geeky roleplay can easily do that.
Take care and please be safe. I can't believe that come May, I will be out of highschool for 10 years. *gasp* hehe
So this past week, Ryan and I have talked about going to get dessert and watch a movie together once the kiddo was in bed. We did that last night! I've been hearing about Cheesecake Factory for YEARS, but just about the cheesecake. We actually ate there as well, and man is the food very yummy. (Ryan had the wild mushroom burger and I had fish tacos. And I swear...I'm in love with Baja Mexican food!)
We brought our desserts home. This is mine. It was a Reese's peanut butter cup cheesecake/cake mix. Man was it rich but good!
(Oh and I promise to catch up on these pics, so expect to see another post with today's picture!)
As you can tell, I haven't blogged since we left Louisiana for Phoenix. This is because two days into our stay here, my husband came down sick. What we first thought was the flu, turned out to be cellulitis that had turned septic. Cliff notes version: A bug bite (or who knows what) got infected, and then the infection went into his blood.
His case ended up baffling doctors. He has had two hospital stays, and finally seems to be on the road to recovery. As I write this, he is home now on IV antibiotics for another week. He'll have his check up on the 22nd to see what the doctors think of his wounds on his leg. Until the doctor's clear him, he is grounded from traveling back home.
For as CRAPPY timing as this is, it did happen in the best location. Being here in Phoenix, we had great hospitals, grandparents to watch Alison, and a great support system. It's been a frustrating vacation to say the least and a scary one. We are lucky Ryan didn't get sicker. It was pretty shocking to hear what "could" have happened. I'm beyond thankful that he is now healing up. I did tell him that I'm done with major sickies for about another decade or longer.
It's been a change of pace for me. I'm usually the quiet, behind the scenes planner of the relationship. With Ryan sick and in the hospital, I've had to be the extroverted decision maker. Talk about taking the introvert out of her comfort bubble. Ryan had the opposite - The extrovert "I DO IT" that had to rely on others for help. It's been a trying time, but we're making it through. It always seems that with our opposite personalities, we do fill in well for the other when needed. Granted, I am happy that I'm slowly been able to return to my little introverted bubble. *giggle*
And it has been henceforth decreed that we are not planning ANYMORE vacations outside of the final destination. The two times we've done it, they've been trashed by illness or injury.
Ryan likes to joke at times that I live in the clouds and he is grounded. I think that I've talked about on here before how my husband and I are complete opposites! He is an ESTP personality type, while I am an INFJ. This definitely makes for some interesting times in our house hold. Today I was reminded of one. Let me set the scene...
I'm in planning mode. Planning out my week, packing, what myself, the little one and Ryan need on the road, and general panicking at the upcoming road trip. Not to mention crawling out of my own skin out of being anxious to see my husband after 5 months.
Ryan...
Cool as a cucumber. Prepping the car, the apartment, wrapping things up at work, ect.
I asked him today if he was excited. His reply "I thought you figured my personality out after 9 months of pregnancy." I remember talking to his father about this all when I was pregnant. I was curious (and a little frustrated at the time) as to why Ryan wasn't giddy as a school girl, like I was. Ryan's personality is one of seeing things through to the end. Sure enough, the day our daughter was born he was happy as a clam. Tired, but thrilled.
So I guess, sometimes he does ground me...*grin* So I, in my boredom, tonight, started googling our personality types. Here are some funnies I found for my INFJ ways:
As a Battlestar Galactica lover (so need to finish it up...), I love this one. I also love that it's Apollo, one of my favorite characters.
(Looking at my old blog, I found this post...enjoy!)
Who knows what made me think about this today, but, here are some funny ways I've explain where my husband is when the Navy kidnaps him away. Keep in mind this are coming from a Trident/Missile Tech wife.
1) He is playing hide and go seek. (This one gets interesting looks.) 2) Business trip. (I usually say this when people won't leave me alone when it comes to asking about where Ryan is.) 3) He'll be back in X amount of time. (This can vary from a guestimate of the time or me saying 3 months, when I know the pull in date is next week.) 4) Playing air boss. (He controls the only thing with potential for flight on a trident. Plus, I can neither confirm nor deny him answer the phone at launcher with "Tower, Air boss.") 5) Being a rocket scientist. (Well...he is!) 6) Off being Navy Boy. (Typical answer for NOTU ops because I really don't want to explain FCETs to people, plus that entire OPSEC thing...lol.) 7) Playing with seamen. (Yes, I'm a sick puppy, and my mind has been warped by a missile tech. Fear me. *grin*) 8) Somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean. (I get neat looks from this one. It also shuts up "Where does he go when he is on the sub?" They don't believe "I don't know.") 9) Re-inacting Down Periscope. (Need I say more?) 10) Driving some khaki crazy. (I believe this is one of the main jobs of Missile Techs.) 11) Memorizing OPNAVs. (Boredom + Fire control = Really bored Ryan. This, however, is usually done after all other means of entertainment have been exhausted.) 12) Pissing off the back aft folk. (He is nuke waste. So, he knows them too well.) 13) Being practical jokester #1. (I love my husband's sick, twisted sense of humor.) 14) Doing strange things with DitDots. (I never knew what DitDots were until I married Ryan. Well I knew what they were, just not the term DitDots. Oh the possibilities I have learned.) 15) Inventing new forms of rickey rockets. (I'm still not allowed to have a true rickey rocket. Something about the caffine going straight to my already overly active hyperness.)
My time back here in Louisiana is coming to a close. It's been an interesting 5 months. I will say that the long nights have lead to lots of thinking. I got back into a lot of my old hobbies - writing, roleplaying and guiding. Writing is good for me. As Ryan tells me sometimes, I'm too artsie fartsie for my own sake. Writing gives me an outlet. Even if it just sits on my computer or in a journal. Roleplaying also gives me a creative outlet that I've been missing.
Also, the time here helped me stop some bad habits. I got too sucked into EQ2 before we left. It was causing my to neglect some of the real world, and I'm sorry for that. I do miss raiding, but I'm happy in my little nook of the world there now. Not to mention, I re-connected with some long lost friends. Silly rangahs and druids, among others!
For all the frustrations that a two year old brings, I've gotten to spend a lot of time with her and understand her a lot better. I've got to seem her start talking and turn into this sponge, craving knowledge. In some terms, she is a completely different kid from when we left. I does hurt me that Ryan misses some of these milestones. I guess that is why I try to take so many videos and photos. I also emailed him during patrol about all her adventures.
As I sit here listening to videos on Vevo, I just think about what all has happened. I'm getting insanely nervous for some reason about being back with Ryan, but I always get that feeling after a patrol. I do feel more "myself" than I have in awhile. We'll see if it holds out once we're back in Georgia. I think and hope it will. I have proven to myself that I can make life work when Ryan is gone. I needed to prove that to myself.
Now coming up we have the hard part of this trip - the saying good bye. Those always kill me. This will also be the first time that Alison's been old enough to "get" that part. It's always bitter sweet. I'm happy beyond belief to be back with Ryan, but sad to know my parents will be upset. We'll be back here after the first of the year though to finish work on my mouth. Not to mention the ever fun, getting back used to being around Ryan. I do think that part is hard for him, especially with Alison. I just have to remember to be patient. (Someone remind me to be patient...LOL)
My hopes for vacation: - Alone time with my hubby (I love my daughter...but I haven't gotten much alone time with Ryan in her almost 3 years on this Earth. lol) - Seeing what Ali thinks of Phoenix and the road trip. She seemed to have a ball on the Louisiana leg of this adventure. Now she has loads more words, so that will be fun. - To take Alison to see pandas. Oh this will be interesting. She's also requested to see a mountain. (She currently thinks that anything hill-like, taller than her, is a mountain...) - To just have fun and attempt to not stress. (I fully expect Ryan to get me drunk to keep me from stressing...LOL. Or knock me over the head with a rock.)
And of course, to conclude this rambling mess...some of my favorite videos from this summer:
I love just about anything Shakira. The woman has always fascinated me. I'd love to see her in concert one day. And speaking of here...this is another video of her's that I love:
I am absolutely amazed with the dance routine. It's beautifully passionate. Never seen anything like it. Love it!
Yes, I discovered Adam Lambert. This song is the cause. Yes, he is a little quirky, but some of the songs are rather catchy. And listening to this song, I've officially been married to Ryan too long. I catch myself figuring out parodies. When he sings the line, "I've got a boots on.." my mind sings "I've got my stripper heels on." (Which is actually a line later in the song. LOL)
I hope everyone has had a good summer. I should still be able to blog/get online some from the in-laws house. Stay safe!
I've come to the decision that there are somethings that I want to accomplish before I turn 30. You can say this summer gave me lots of time to think, and a few choice kicks in the butt from the husband unit to get things rolling. So, I figure I could blog about it, to sort of put it down for me to follow. Or atleast try.
1) Get Healthy - This includes a few things. I want to loose 100lbs. I'm giving myself sometime. I know changing my eating habits will take a bit, plus I really need my teeth totally done. That brings me to the other part, finish my teeth and get the implants. Ryan pushed me to get it done, and I've started it. I want to see it through. I also need to get my ear re-checked. It's due, and I've been putting it off.
2) Work on myself - Try to keep mellowing out. I also would love to get back to school. It'll take a bit. I also want to keep writing and get back into old hobbies that I've missed. Also take time for myself, which I've neglected lately.
3) Work on family - Make sure to spend time with my husband and daughter. Not to get so sucked into something to neglect the world around me. I also wouldn't mind alteast being pregnant again by the end of this three year plan. Alison asks me about babies. I tell her maybe one day. I'd also like to start working with her on homeschool stuff. Making the most of our days. I also want to keep being a good and supportive wife to Ryan, especially with him being back on sea duty.
In three years, I will be 30, married for ten years, and have a six year old. I want to get myself healthy to hopefully avoid some of the medical issues that my family has struggled with. I also want to be healthy so that when I get pregnant again there aren't as many risks. Like Ryan told me one time, sometimes you have to make the hard choices. Put yourself and your needs before your wants. As much as I want another child, I need to be healthier first.
I guess we'll see where this plan leads over the next three years. I have good hopes. I work well with plans and goals.
With a phone call I had this afternoon, this patrol is over. My husband is back on dry land. All is well as it can be. (It would be better if we were there, but we'll see him soon.) For all the "keeping it together" that I've done, I still got all teary eyed and rambling when I heard his voice. I haven't talked to him on the phone since May. As those that know Ryan, he isn't much of a phone person, so I'll be calling him back later. *giggle* I'm just happy he is home.
This patrol did show me what I can do this. After 5 (or 6, I lost count) years at NOTU, I got very used to Ryan being home or atleast in phone contact constantly. So, the thought of a patrol, scared me to death. I've shown myself that I can do this. I can keep everything together, keep the kid alive, and keep myself alive. Do sometimes I think I took the "easy" way out by going home? Sure. But it ways it was harder cause I didn't have some of my usual coping things.
Alison hasn't talked to him yet. I think she had an idea I was waiting for a call today. I mentioned it in passing last night. This morning she saw my cell by my bed and went "Daddy?" Little girl picks up on small things these days. Should be interesting to see if she'll talk to him on the phone tonight. It's always a hit or miss. Giggle point: Apparently Ryan really did eat a lot of pizza underway. I find that hilarious that she was so sure daddy was eating pizza.
Now the wait to see when we have leave, when he'll be here, and what the plan is. I can be patient (somewhat) for that though, because I can atleast talk to him now.
