Find something that makes you happy

One of my friend's facebook status tonight was about finding a hobby or passion that you love and just doing it.  She went on to add about supporting those that you love that have found just such a hobby.  It sort of struck me.  I know I've been nervous about what the reaction to my photography would be.  I'm no where near even thinking of doing it as a "job."  However, it is definitely a hobby that I've fallen head over hills in love with it.  I love seeing the word hiding behind the camera.  It suits my personality to a T.  I can watch, observe, and document, all while staying in my bubble.

I know over this past year, I've found more of a style that I love.  I had friends mention it, but I did not really see the change until I looked back over the entire year.  I guess you can say my tastes matured?  I know over the next year I hope to keep learning more, especially the technical side.  Do I ever think I'll make it into a hobby that makes money?  Maybe, but not until I have a lot more practice under my belt.  Right now I love capturing my daughter's life, our world, sharing this hobby with her, and making pretty pictures.  I've also picked up some new friends from my photography on 365.  It's sort of like my gaming, a few more friends from around the world.  The perks of the online universe, ya know?

My latest photography love and find...black and white portraits.

A New Year, and Hopefully more blogging

So outside of my goals I've set for my photography (learning my camera more, getting a new lens, and hopefully making the top 20 on 365), I also want to blog more.  Lately on 365, I've gotten comments that the writing in my captions is very well done.  I've always loved to write, and well, I really want to keep this blog up to date for once.  So we'll see, right?

The husband unit has been on leave, so we've been enjoying some down times.  It's been a trial and error process on getting new routines established for Ali with us being back home.  Things are mellowing out now it seems.  She's a lot like her daddy, change does not phase them much.  I'm the one that goes "OMG PANIC!" at change. 

I've started Year 2 already for 365.  I'm a month out from finishing my first year.  I'm proud of myself that I've stuck with it, even if I had a month of filler shots due to a broke camera.  I still stuck it out.  Ali and I started a project for her, but her want to do it seems to have died off in the excitement of Christmas, Daddy, and the trip back home.  I can't blame her.  That's a lot for a four year old to comprehend and take in! 

Here are a few of my shots recently:



 





I also started a facebook page to show my pictures on for folks not on 365.  Moody Rainbow Photography is the page!  It's just to show things as I learn.  It's been a fun 11 months learning so far, so I can't wait to see what the new year brings.

Incomplete

(I posted this on my 365 project, but I wanted to share it here.  And I swear, I'm going to post more.  Things have been hellish lately.)



When I saw the theme for the week, I instantly thought of one person to take a picture of. Problem - that person is who knows where in a submarine. That person is my hero in more ways than I can share in the space this box gives. He made a choice 14 years ago come January to join the Navy. It was not a smooth ride at first, but he settled in his current job. He loves his job, stress and all.

I've been wearing this necklace almost nine years. It was a gift from him our first Christmas, shortly before our first patrol together. Over the years, he has jokingly called it my fidget device. I've rubbed the silver coating off of the front. His dog tags are on the necklace as well. And the dolphins are a pin that have made their appearance before in my project.

My husband helps keep me, our family, everyone safe. In trade for that service, he sacrifices time with his loved ones. Misses first steps, birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. It can be hell some days. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have my loving husband, who has given me the world in our daughter.

And you know one of the best parts? Those videos of homecomings you see on T.V.? The ones with the over flowing waterfall of emotion pouring out of the loved ones? I've seen it. I've felt it. I've been there. Waiting on pins and needles on a pier watching for the sailor with red hair. Then getting that hug and kiss. Seeing the look on our daughter's face - The "Where the hell have you been?" one. And just wanting to keep touching his hand or his shoulder to make sure you aren't dreaming. When incomplete, becomes complete again.

And hearing him say my name. He always chuckles softly when that's one of my first requests.

If you've made it through this, thank you. I'll admit I've been crying during half of it, so I don't know if it makes much sense. This just felt like one of those pictures and captions that had to be done.
 

Catch all - Catch Up

So, I've been horrible about keeping this up lately.  I seem to do fine with my written journal, but this blog, not so much.  I need to find a focus I think.  Maybe put together some Theme days or something.  We'll see.  I know it'll probably be artsie or something dealing with my little one.  Or both.  Enough with that rambling, how about some catching up!

Who I am #7: Me

GAH! Selfie alert! I HATE pictures of myself. I'm much more comfortable hiding behind the camera. *insert lots of self conscious issues from high school here*

So this is me. Glasses wearing, brown hair, brown eyed me. (I could not get all of my hair in a self portrait...it goes down to my waist. lol)

Thank you everyone that's followed this little series and commented along the way! It's been awesome to get the feedback. This series was inspired by the song "The Kill" by 30 Seconds to Mars. Specifically this verse:

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am.

In the video, the lead singer is faced with his double. They are singing this verse back and forth. It's always just stuck with me, and later spawned this series idea.

One thing I have learned over the years is that I am many things. I can't sacrifice one part or focus too much on another. It's a magical balancing act that I'm still trying to master.

Thank you again everyone!

Who I am #6: Louisiana Girl

I was born and raised in Louisiana. Hell, I had never left the Southern US until my high school years. I love the South. I feel very at home here. I feel so out of place in big cities. Too fast and too many crowds. Give me the calm pace of the not so big cities in the South. And yes, I have an accent, though it tends to only come out badly when I'm tired or back home for a bit. I will be heading back home end of this year for a few months, so you all will get a taste of Louisiana. =)

Who I am #5: Oh Shiney!

My husband likes to joke that I suffered from "Hyper Active Oh Shiney Disorder." Aka - I'm majorly easily distracted. This joke goes back YEARS to our early roleplay days, where my character would get distracted picking up every flower she saw. It earned me the nickname "Flower Girl." hehe. This picture was not planned to work for my love of flowers and my shiney side, but then I saw the new textures in picnik. The rest was history.

I totally adore flowers. It goes back to when I was little with my Great grandfather and my grandmother. Both LOVED their gardens. They also both tolerated me picking every flower in sight. I miss them both, but flowers definitely keep them in my hearts.

Who I am #4: Roleplayer

I first found roleplaying at the age of 16, when I started playing Everquest. It was an outlet for my creative writing. I fell in love. At the time, I developed a character named Leiella. (You'll hear more about her on another day.) The character I've done the most work with is Lolanae. She is a wood elf rogue. The picture for today is of a dagger and a key. Two things very key to almost any of Lolanae's stories. I tried a new idea with the lighting, seeing as rogues are usually hiding in the shadows.

I love writing stories. It goes back to part of what I talked about yesterday. I love getting lost in my head in these worlds of imagination and fantasy. It's definitely my fun, wind down time at the end of the day.

I'm grateful that I got into roleplay and online gaming. I have friends (and a husband!) from there and bonds formed that have lasted years past when we still played the games. Some of these friends I've never met in person (though I hope to one day), but that doesn't matter to us.

Who I am #3: Artsie Fartsie

When we first started dating, my husband jokingly called me Artsie Fartsie. It's sort of stuck over the years. I'm definitely the more artsie one of the relationship. (We are actually complete opposites if you look at the MTBI personality tests. hehe) He is way more science and math, where I'm happy in my colorful rainbow bubble with my camera, writing, and colors.

I'm grateful for artsie farstie outlets of creativity. =)

Who I am #2: Submariner's Wife

I've been married for almost eight years. When I met my husband, I had never really known anyone in the military. I had grew up next to one of the largest Air Force bases, but that's about it. I still remember to this day, he sat me down and laid out all of the facts of how his schedules work. It can be emotionally taxing at times, especially now that we have a daughter. For all the time away (with little to no communication), to the long, wonky hours, to the times he is home, it's all worth it. I share him with the sea, but I don't mind. A little salt water makes him happy and makes him who he is. I wouldn't change that for the world. I'm so grateful that I have him in my life.

The picture is of my wive's dolphins. They are a miniature version of his submarine qualification pin. Dolphins are the symbol of the submarine fleet.

Who I am?

I've had this idea in my head for a bit. It's actually thanks to a line from one of my favorite songs by 30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill.

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am.

I'm doing this as part of my 365project. It's taking a little thinking outside of the box. It will also take some nerves, courage and planning since I plan to atleast end it with a self-portrait. I started today with this picture:



This was the description:

My main "job" for the last 3 and 1/2 years has been a stay at home mama. I love it, even though my boss is prone to tantrums, hilarity, and sudden work schedule changes. For all the sleepless nights, she is totally worth it. The two am smiles after I've solved whatever crisis make the lack of sleep tolerable. I wouldn't change it for the world, no matter how frustrated I might get some days.

The star was her idea. She then sang me 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" while I took the picture. The letters are from her toys, except the M is from my scrapbooking stuff.

So this should be a fun little challenge. =)

It does get better

Today I was reminded of an old blog post of mine about bullying. What reminded me was this video:



Such a powerful song and video. It conveys a message that I do hold dear to my heart. One that you should not judge or shame someone for who they choose to love or be. I understand that the world will never be perfect, and that Utopia is nothing but a pipe dream. However, if we were all cookie cutter versions of each other, the world would be bloody boring. Humans thrive of being different. If it's one thing I've learned over the years, thanks to my online gaming actually, is that there are MANY different types of people in this world.

I do know that life does get better. It is not the instant you graduate high school, but it will get better. Hell, at 28, I'm still figuring out me. I don't think there is a set age to find yourself. One thing I have learned is that you have to be true to yourself. It's hard shrugging off listening to what everyone thinks, but for your own happiness, you have to.

Acceptance and tolerance are such huge things I wish people would have more of. I've even covered it in my 365project. I know part of the strong feelings I have on this topic is because of my personality. I also know that changing the attitudes of the kids/teens today won't happen until we change the attitude of the adults. I can only hope that maybe my generation will see what is happening to teens now and raise our children to be more accepting. A girl can dream, right?

Some of the pics I've done:

Photography adventure - 4 months in

So I still haven't braved manual. I have stuff to read up on, but for some reason I haven't braved it. Yes, I know. Man up and do it. I will say I've been venturing outside my comfort areas lately, so that's a start, right? I've also been playing with some creative edits and having fun. Maybe manual can be my adventure for while Ryan's home, so when I get frustrated he can re-focus me. hehe Even with sticking in my cameras pre-set modes, I've managed to do a lot of fun little things.

Well, let's start at Day 1 of my 365project for reference:



Go figure...I buy a spiffy new camera and...it's gloomy and rainy for a week afterwards!

This was the first photo that seemed to get a load of attention. I was rather proud of it, and it definitely was nice to get feedback.



This is the topped ranked photo of mine on my project. I definitely think the meaning I attached to it of leaving your mark on the people you meet helped it's popularity. I've also found a niche for using my camera to help portray a cause of acceptance.



I have an insane love for macro shots...



One of my recent favs. Straight out of the camera. Loved how it came out.



And lately I've gone outside my box a bit. Still hugging the wall, but it's progress.







The two rainbow ones are straight out of the camera. The one of Alison is playing with some edits.

I'm still having fun. I do like finding new things to photograph, and I've learned that what I think looks cool won't always be what is popular, cool, or "right." It's definitely a project and adventure for "me." Sometimes I do still need to remind myself of that though.