Who I am #7: Me

GAH! Selfie alert! I HATE pictures of myself. I'm much more comfortable hiding behind the camera. *insert lots of self conscious issues from high school here*

So this is me. Glasses wearing, brown hair, brown eyed me. (I could not get all of my hair in a self portrait...it goes down to my waist. lol)

Thank you everyone that's followed this little series and commented along the way! It's been awesome to get the feedback. This series was inspired by the song "The Kill" by 30 Seconds to Mars. Specifically this verse:

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am.

In the video, the lead singer is faced with his double. They are singing this verse back and forth. It's always just stuck with me, and later spawned this series idea.

One thing I have learned over the years is that I am many things. I can't sacrifice one part or focus too much on another. It's a magical balancing act that I'm still trying to master.

Thank you again everyone!

Who I am #6: Louisiana Girl

I was born and raised in Louisiana. Hell, I had never left the Southern US until my high school years. I love the South. I feel very at home here. I feel so out of place in big cities. Too fast and too many crowds. Give me the calm pace of the not so big cities in the South. And yes, I have an accent, though it tends to only come out badly when I'm tired or back home for a bit. I will be heading back home end of this year for a few months, so you all will get a taste of Louisiana. =)

Who I am #3: Artsie Fartsie

When we first started dating, my husband jokingly called me Artsie Fartsie. It's sort of stuck over the years. I'm definitely the more artsie one of the relationship. (We are actually complete opposites if you look at the MTBI personality tests. hehe) He is way more science and math, where I'm happy in my colorful rainbow bubble with my camera, writing, and colors.

I'm grateful for artsie farstie outlets of creativity. =)

Who I am #2: Submariner's Wife

I've been married for almost eight years. When I met my husband, I had never really known anyone in the military. I had grew up next to one of the largest Air Force bases, but that's about it. I still remember to this day, he sat me down and laid out all of the facts of how his schedules work. It can be emotionally taxing at times, especially now that we have a daughter. For all the time away (with little to no communication), to the long, wonky hours, to the times he is home, it's all worth it. I share him with the sea, but I don't mind. A little salt water makes him happy and makes him who he is. I wouldn't change that for the world. I'm so grateful that I have him in my life.

The picture is of my wive's dolphins. They are a miniature version of his submarine qualification pin. Dolphins are the symbol of the submarine fleet.

Who I am?

I've had this idea in my head for a bit. It's actually thanks to a line from one of my favorite songs by 30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill.

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am.

I'm doing this as part of my 365project. It's taking a little thinking outside of the box. It will also take some nerves, courage and planning since I plan to atleast end it with a self-portrait. I started today with this picture:



This was the description:

My main "job" for the last 3 and 1/2 years has been a stay at home mama. I love it, even though my boss is prone to tantrums, hilarity, and sudden work schedule changes. For all the sleepless nights, she is totally worth it. The two am smiles after I've solved whatever crisis make the lack of sleep tolerable. I wouldn't change it for the world, no matter how frustrated I might get some days.

The star was her idea. She then sang me 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" while I took the picture. The letters are from her toys, except the M is from my scrapbooking stuff.

So this should be a fun little challenge. =)

Photography adventure - 4 months in

So I still haven't braved manual. I have stuff to read up on, but for some reason I haven't braved it. Yes, I know. Man up and do it. I will say I've been venturing outside my comfort areas lately, so that's a start, right? I've also been playing with some creative edits and having fun. Maybe manual can be my adventure for while Ryan's home, so when I get frustrated he can re-focus me. hehe Even with sticking in my cameras pre-set modes, I've managed to do a lot of fun little things.

Well, let's start at Day 1 of my 365project for reference:



Go figure...I buy a spiffy new camera and...it's gloomy and rainy for a week afterwards!

This was the first photo that seemed to get a load of attention. I was rather proud of it, and it definitely was nice to get feedback.



This is the topped ranked photo of mine on my project. I definitely think the meaning I attached to it of leaving your mark on the people you meet helped it's popularity. I've also found a niche for using my camera to help portray a cause of acceptance.



I have an insane love for macro shots...



One of my recent favs. Straight out of the camera. Loved how it came out.



And lately I've gone outside my box a bit. Still hugging the wall, but it's progress.







The two rainbow ones are straight out of the camera. The one of Alison is playing with some edits.

I'm still having fun. I do like finding new things to photograph, and I've learned that what I think looks cool won't always be what is popular, cool, or "right." It's definitely a project and adventure for "me." Sometimes I do still need to remind myself of that though.

Gone Rifting

So I was a bad girl, and I did not write yesterday. In my defense, I felt like crapola! So I did not do much outside sit in my computer chair and play RIFT. It's the new game I've been playing. I picked it up after a much needed break from Everquest 2. Go go drama! (Long story, but I did need a break. Glad I took it.)

RIFT has been a fun little game to play. Some what laid back. No guild drama. Rar! And it's also perfect from my ADD oh shiney disorder! The game will randomly spawn "rifts", which are tears into the game world from the planar worlds - Death, Life, Air, Earth, Water, Fire. Each zone tends to have their "elements".

I will say out of all the games I have played, RIFT has had the smoothest launch ever. Trion Worlds has had a few bumps along the road, though. The first major event, River of Souls, was not without it's hiccups at the end. Trion did take the heat, and has said they learned. On the 22nd of this month, patch 1.3 will bring the next big event, so we'll see.

It's nice to have a game where I don't need to race to max level to experience life in the game world. At the moment my "main" is 36. (Or 37, I can't remember.) So far that's just been soloing (with minimal duoing with the husband-unit). I still have not seen the inside of an instance. (Blame the kiddo on that lol, though with the LFG finder, I hope to fix that.) I've also only barely tried the PVP, but PVP is not really my thing. Give me a patrol, once all my crafters are maxed, and I'm bored - then I'll try PVP probably.

Overall, I'm really impressed with RIFT. From the betas, to the release, to the Collector's Edition release (OMG - best CE ever. Totally worth the cost. I love my blue glowy flash drive!), and to the events. And I know, shocker, the flower girl in me totally loves the life RIFTS best. Can you blame me?



A few other shots:



What a zone event can look like...All those purple things are bad guys.



And RAINBOW!




Here are the rest of my screenshots. I will try to keep the album up to date. If you have any questions, let me know! I play on the Faeblight server - typically Defiant side at the moment.

Curveballs

I planned to start catching up with blogging in June. A trip back from Phoenix with a sick toddler derailed my creative juices to say the least. Needless to say I have gotten nothing done for the 30 day journal challenge that I wanted to do. Hopefully I can pick it up soon.

I'm still working on my 365 project. We did an A to Z section that was really fun! Right now I'm focusing on gratitude shots. I want to get a chance to read the photo books I picked up during vacation. I still haven't practiced much in manual. (Yes, I know, bad girl!) That being said, people seem to like some of my photos, so that's awesome. I also finally caved and opened a flickr account. (Which I need to catch up as well.) Did I mention the darling toddler gave me her cold, and she is also still coughing? Yeah...I think I'm running away to the movies this weekend!

So to start off my renewing of the blog - I did a little redecorating. I'll play around with the links/widgets/silly stuff over the next few days. I do need to find a kind of "direction." Could always go with the geeky, gamer, navy wife mama that likes to ramble? There is a niche for that, right? hehe

Artsie Farstie Mode: Activated

Today, my artsie fartsie side got a little boost. Talking with a friend, she asked me "Have you studied photography?" I'm like "Umm...high school." She goes on to tell me that's she's really enjoying seeing my 365 project.

*insert image of my artsie fartsie side doing a happy jig in my head*

Getting my new camera has done worlds for my soul. I'm not kidding. I need some kind of artsie outlet. As much as I'd love to scrapbook, lack of room prevents it. (Though, be damned, I'm going to find some way. I just might have to totally take over the kitchen. Time will tell.)

I also love hiding behind the camera. Ryan has always joked that I see the world differently. He calls it my "OH SHINEY!" disorder, meaning that I get easily distracted be quirky little things that catch my attention. I can just hear him now when he sees me take 15 minutes rearranging glittery heart stickers to get them JUST right. Or just snapping pictures of our daughter playing and hoping there is a really awesome shot.

I guess hiding behind the camera really lets me just watch. Be the quiet one in the background, observing the details of the world. Seeing something that might be overlooked by someone that didn't take that extra second. I find myself now thinking of different shots to try. I'm hoping by the end of patrol to atleast be practicing full time in manual.

Here are a few of the pictures I've taken lately:

Beautiful Imperfection



Love



Torn



I'm definitely having fun. It's neat dreaming up different ideas. Like I have a bag of rose petals in the fridge that is just calling to be some type of picture.

Seeing the world through my daughter's eyes

The past week or so, I've been trying to spend some extra quality time with my daughter. She's had a rough spell lately. It's been nice to watch the world through her eyes. She's such a vibrant little girl, and she manages to dream up these magical words.

We've been having fun little movie days, craft days, and walks when the weather is nice. Sometimes she reminds me of the silvertongues in Inkheart. (I've only seen the movie, though.) People that can tell you a story, and it comes to life. I love listening to her describe things she sees.

For as stressful and painful as it is during deployments, I definitely do treasure this time with her. We miss him a ton, but we're making it through. I'm definitely trying to look on the bright side of things and just make the best.

365 Project

Yes, I restarted this. With my new camera, I've been having loads of fun. It's been neat playing with a new camera and learning all the settings.

You can follow along with my project here:


And yes, I definitely hope to be more alive on the blogging front.

Thoughts on bullies, being bullied, and wondering why it happens?

Over the past month, there has been a lot of news reports about teenagers, college students, and people that have committed suicide over bullying. Many of these tragedies were over being bullied just because of sexual orientation. I will never understand making someone's life miserable due to them loving someone of their own sex. I do not care the justifications that bullies make. I don't care if you think it's a sin. I don't. Bullying someone to the point that the only option they see is taking their own life is sickening, and in my eyes, ten times a worse sin than homosexuality.

I've been picked on dating as far back as elementary school. I have horrible teeth, and literally can remember being teased about them from first grade on. It is with out a doubt the source of my self esteem issues over my teeth and appearance. Sometimes I've love to throw a brick at some of the bullies heads. But I disgress...

I don't remember much about teasing or bullying in middle school. It was probably there, but I've slept since then. (Child birth also zapped some of my brain cells, I swear.) Now, high school, that I remember. In particular, I remember one boy who seemed to be the head of the teasing department. He was the typical cocky, richie rich, prep asshole. I know, harsh words, but I literally remember this guy always having some crack about me.

One time I remember being in fencing (Yes, I was a fencer. hehe) and he was there. I hated that he was there. Fencing was my refuge from the prep crowd. The fencing room was my safe spot, but there he was. I was dating a guy at the time, and Richie Rich seemed to find it hilarious. It's like he couldn't accept that someone would like me. (Insert some more self esteem issues here.) I counted the days until he swapped over to health for the year. I also went to school during the time frame (and I'm guessing it probably still happens) that if you didn't have the right brand name clothes you just were not worth a damn. (Let's not mention that garment A and garment B look the same except for pattern/color.)

I ended up doing what most bullied kids do. Internalized the entire damn lot of insults, quirks, ect. In my head I had these fabulous arguments and come backs for them. Wanting to tell them to be glad that they can have anything they need(and want), no worries about eviction notices, no worries about utilities being turned off, ect. Not everyone's world was as perfect as their's.

Thankfully, I had some kick ass friend's in high school. Fencing team helped me keep my sanity. I also had some other friends that all stuck together through our four years there. I wish/hope that I can get back in good touch with all of them. The years (oh hell, almost a decade now) have sent us in many directions.

Now, only once in my life have I contemplated suicide. At the time I was alone in Chicago, emotionally abused into a pulp by the guy that I dated at the time, and feeling a wee bit of a failure at college. God only knows why I didn't do what I thought about that night. I do know that it took me a while to crawl out of that dark place. (Man, are my journal entries from that time interesting...) I am glad I crawled out. Glad I ended up finding a pretty spiffy guy that was willing to take on damaged goods and saw something in me that I still strive to completely see even now.

My point to all of this rambling - It really does get better. Nothing will ever be perfect. Life is an ever evolving puzzle with complications and surprises, but it's not always bad. On my bad days, I just have to remember that I have a husband that loves me despite my faults and a beautiful daughter who thinks I'm magic. (Seeing the world through a toddler's eyes is truely a delight on a daily basis.) If I could have someone learn one thing from this - don't keep it all in yourself. I tend to do that. It's what my husband and father in law call "Getting lost in my head." While I'm usually a-okay with that thanks to my personality type, sometimes I will over brood, over think, and totally fubar myself. Talk to some one. Write in a journal. Just get it out. Find an outlet for your frustration. Do what you have to to get it out.

This is definitely a post that I could not leave without some songs. These are very meaningful songs that have struck something with me recently - be recent happenings or past memories. They have stuck with me.

Three Days Grace - Pain - "I'd rather feel pain, than nothing at all." Been there, done that. You can only take so much of being numb.



Three Days Grace - Never Too Late - It never is to late to try to pick yourself up, right the wrongs, and make things work. There is always tomorrow and a path through the maze.



Linkin Park - Waiting for the End - A very true song about how sometimes life gets out of our control, and we find ourselves waiting for the end. The song also talks about how this isn't the end, but the beginning of a new chapter.



Katy Perry - Firework - To be honest, I didn't hear this song until today, but it struck me hard. (As in teary eyed.) She's dedicating it to the It Gets Better Project. It is a song about finding that spark inside of you. The goodness we all have and showing the world.




I can only hope that my generation will raise children that won't bully or judge. I know that won't completely happen, because Utopia is impossible. Yet, I hope that maybe we can help minimalize it, so that ten years down the road, it's not children my daughter's age in the news for this. A mom can hope, right?

365 Project: Runaway Day!

Today I got my "Runaway Day" today. It was time for myself to just walk around by myself. I went to Arizona Mills to do a little shopping. I found some stuff for Alison, and also some stuff for myself. I've been wanting to see these movies for a bit. I saw Prince of Persia in the theater and loved it. I've always had a thing for Robin Hood movies, so of course, I want to see how this version holds up.

365 Project: Cheesecake!

So this past week, Ryan and I have talked about going to get dessert and watch a movie together once the kiddo was in bed. We did that last night! I've been hearing about Cheesecake Factory for YEARS, but just about the cheesecake. We actually ate there as well, and man is the food very yummy. (Ryan had the wild mushroom burger and I had fish tacos. And I swear...I'm in love with Baja Mexican food!)

We brought our desserts home. This is mine. It was a Reese's peanut butter cup cheesecake/cake mix. Man was it rich but good!

(Oh and I promise to catch up on these pics, so expect to see another post with today's picture!)

365 Project

I've been thinking of doing this for awhile. For those that don't know what it is, basically you take one picture a day for a year. I wanted to start it a little earlier, but as you know, husband unit threw a wrench into our plans. (He is feeling better, by the way hehe.)

So I started this yesterday - The first day of my seventh year of marriage. The 22nd was our anniversary. I figure it was a good time to start, not to mention, I'm hoping this year will be better and smoother for us.

And now for my picture. This is my "desk" of sorts at the in-laws house. It's basically the dinning room table. Since my laptop has been where I've spent a lot of my time this vacation between researching medical terms I'd never heard before and keeping myself sane, it's a fitting first look into my daily life.

How to love your INFJ?

(Found this linked here)


This thread is for tips for those who have INFJs in their lives, but are not INFJs themselves. I’ve noticed that there are quite a few members here who are looking for this sort of advice, so this is the place to offer it – be the relationships romantic, friendly, professional, or otherwise.

Here are my tips for the Proper Care of Your INFJ if you are in a romantic relationship with us.

1. Your INFJ adores you more than they can express with words. Even if they don’t tell you verbally, they will show you how they feel through their patience, kindness, and willingness to please you.

2. Thank your INFJ with sincere hugs and kisses, and tell us you appreciate the things that we do for you. Just knowing that you’re aware of it is reward enough to keep us overjoyed (and enthusiastically continuing to do all the things you love that we do for you).

3. If an INFJ is in a romantic relationship with you, they consider you their number one priority in life. Your happiness and well being are the most important things in their lives.

4. Your INFJ can sense your emotions even more acutely than if you were telling us with words. We can feel what you are feeling. Don’t be alarmed by this as we will never use it against you. However, this means you can never lie to us. If you try, we will know, it will hurt our feelings badly that you did.

5. We love it when you just walk up to us and hold us. No words. Nothing complicated. Just gently wrap your arms around us and focus on how you feel about us. We can feel it like it is pouring out of you and into us. Don’t be alarmed if we cry when you do this.

6. We love to listen. Don’t be afraid to tell us what is on your mind, even if we didn’t ask. We love you and respect your privacy, and don’t like to pry.

7. We also love it when you listen to us. Please ask us questions to show us that you care, and let us talk when you do. The more intently you are interested in how we feel and what we have to say, the more we will love you.

8. Sometimes we need to recharge our minds, and will sit and stare blankly into space. This is perfectly normal, as your INFJ is rebooting their amazing mind. Systems will be online again shortly.

9. We thrive in an environment with just you, and a few of our closest loved ones. The more opportunities you help us create for these kinds of environments, the happier we will be.

10. We don’t do well in crowds for extended periods. We will join you in them if that’s where you want to go, but please be mindful of the duration of contact. INFJs may become unresponsive and even irritable when exposed to crowds for too long.

11. While we are extremely affectionate with you, we’re generally not interested in being affectionate with anyone else, and physical contact with strangers may unsettle your INFJ. It is best to keep strangers from attempting to pet your INFJ.

12. Your INFJ accepts you for everything you are. However, INFJs can be especially eccentric. If you accept your INFJ’s eccentricities and peculiar interests, this will greatly increase your INFJ’s happiness.

13. INFJs are otherwise very self sufficient low maintenance pets, and can be left to their own little worlds for extended periods. However, infrequent moments of affection are always appreciated.

14. Always kiss your INFJ goodnight and tell them that you love them, even if you’re not going to sleep when they do.

15. Always cuddle with your INFJ when they wake up and greet their day with love.

16. Your INFJ will have a reflex to help others. Do not be alarmed by this, as it does not in any way reflect on how your INFJ feels about you, or your relationship. It is simply our nature to help others – sometimes to a degree that makes the ones we love assume they are less of a priority. Nothing could be further from the truth.

17. Your INFJ is a planner. Sometimes spontaneity leaves us in a position that we cannot plan how to best make you happy, and we find this upsetting. Please understand that we are never upset with you, only the situation.

18. Your INFJ is very idealistic and principled. If you need us to go against our ideals or principles to make you happy, this can cause us a great deal of internal turmoil and tension. Please be mindful of our ideals and principles and avoid asking us to go against them.

19. When an INFJ’s ideals or principles are offended, we will pull away quickly. This may look very similar to our normal modes of being lost in our heads to the untrained eye, as we do not like to cause tension or disharmony. To best care for your INFJ, learn to spot this reaction and quickly make right whatever was wrong, even if it is simply an opinion. This will bring us back to the harmony we need to be our healthiest.

20. No one will ever love you as much as your INFJ.

Two different worlds

Ryan likes to joke at times that I live in the clouds and he is grounded. I think that I've talked about on here before how my husband and I are complete opposites! He is an ESTP personality type, while I am an INFJ. This definitely makes for some interesting times in our house hold. Today I was reminded of one. Let me set the scene...

I'm in planning mode. Planning out my week, packing, what myself, the little one and Ryan need on the road, and general panicking at the upcoming road trip. Not to mention crawling out of my own skin out of being anxious to see my husband after 5 months.

Ryan...

Cool as a cucumber. Prepping the car, the apartment, wrapping things up at work, ect.

I asked him today if he was excited. His reply "I thought you figured my personality out after 9 months of pregnancy." I remember talking to his father about this all when I was pregnant. I was curious (and a little frustrated at the time) as to why Ryan wasn't giddy as a school girl, like I was. Ryan's personality is one of seeing things through to the end. Sure enough, the day our daughter was born he was happy as a clam. Tired, but thrilled.

So I guess, sometimes he does ground me...*grin* So I, in my boredom, tonight, started googling our personality types. Here are some funnies I found for my INFJ ways:

As a Battlestar Galactica lover (so need to finish it up...), I love this one. I also love that it's Apollo, one of my favorite characters.







And of course...one for Ryan:

Sometimes you have to go home again...

My time back here in Louisiana is coming to a close. It's been an interesting 5 months. I will say that the long nights have lead to lots of thinking. I got back into a lot of my old hobbies - writing, roleplaying and guiding. Writing is good for me. As Ryan tells me sometimes, I'm too artsie fartsie for my own sake. Writing gives me an outlet. Even if it just sits on my computer or in a journal. Roleplaying also gives me a creative outlet that I've been missing.

Also, the time here helped me stop some bad habits. I got too sucked into EQ2 before we left. It was causing my to neglect some of the real world, and I'm sorry for that. I do miss raiding, but I'm happy in my little nook of the world there now. Not to mention, I re-connected with some long lost friends. Silly rangahs and druids, among others!

For all the frustrations that a two year old brings, I've gotten to spend a lot of time with her and understand her a lot better. I've got to seem her start talking and turn into this sponge, craving knowledge. In some terms, she is a completely different kid from when we left. I does hurt me that Ryan misses some of these milestones. I guess that is why I try to take so many videos and photos. I also emailed him during patrol about all her adventures.

As I sit here listening to videos on Vevo, I just think about what all has happened. I'm getting insanely nervous for some reason about being back with Ryan, but I always get that feeling after a patrol. I do feel more "myself" than I have in awhile. We'll see if it holds out once we're back in Georgia. I think and hope it will. I have proven to myself that I can make life work when Ryan is gone. I needed to prove that to myself.

Now coming up we have the hard part of this trip - the saying good bye. Those always kill me. This will also be the first time that Alison's been old enough to "get" that part. It's always bitter sweet. I'm happy beyond belief to be back with Ryan, but sad to know my parents will be upset. We'll be back here after the first of the year though to finish work on my mouth. Not to mention the ever fun, getting back used to being around Ryan. I do think that part is hard for him, especially with Alison. I just have to remember to be patient. (Someone remind me to be patient...LOL)

My hopes for vacation:
- Alone time with my hubby (I love my daughter...but I haven't gotten much alone time with Ryan in her almost 3 years on this Earth. lol)
- Seeing what Ali thinks of Phoenix and the road trip. She seemed to have a ball on the Louisiana leg of this adventure. Now she has loads more words, so that will be fun.
- To take Alison to see pandas. Oh this will be interesting. She's also requested to see a mountain. (She currently thinks that anything hill-like, taller than her, is a mountain...)
- To just have fun and attempt to not stress. (I fully expect Ryan to get me drunk to keep me from stressing...LOL. Or knock me over the head with a rock.)

And of course, to conclude this rambling mess...some of my favorite videos from this summer:



I love just about anything Shakira. The woman has always fascinated me. I'd love to see her in concert one day. And speaking of here...this is another video of her's that I love:



I am absolutely amazed with the dance routine. It's beautifully passionate. Never seen anything like it. Love it!



Yes, I discovered Adam Lambert. This song is the cause. Yes, he is a little quirky, but some of the songs are rather catchy. And listening to this song, I've officially been married to Ryan too long. I catch myself figuring out parodies. When he sings the line, "I've got a boots on.." my mind sings "I've got my stripper heels on." (Which is actually a line later in the song. LOL)

I hope everyone has had a good summer. I should still be able to blog/get online some from the in-laws house. Stay safe!

The 3 year plan

I've come to the decision that there are somethings that I want to accomplish before I turn 30. You can say this summer gave me lots of time to think, and a few choice kicks in the butt from the husband unit to get things rolling. So, I figure I could blog about it, to sort of put it down for me to follow. Or atleast try.

1) Get Healthy - This includes a few things. I want to loose 100lbs. I'm giving myself sometime. I know changing my eating habits will take a bit, plus I really need my teeth totally done. That brings me to the other part, finish my teeth and get the implants. Ryan pushed me to get it done, and I've started it. I want to see it through. I also need to get my ear re-checked. It's due, and I've been putting it off.

2) Work on myself - Try to keep mellowing out. I also would love to get back to school. It'll take a bit. I also want to keep writing and get back into old hobbies that I've missed. Also take time for myself, which I've neglected lately.

3) Work on family - Make sure to spend time with my husband and daughter. Not to get so sucked into something to neglect the world around me. I also wouldn't mind alteast being pregnant again by the end of this three year plan. Alison asks me about babies. I tell her maybe one day. I'd also like to start working with her on homeschool stuff. Making the most of our days. I also want to keep being a good and supportive wife to Ryan, especially with him being back on sea duty.

In three years, I will be 30, married for ten years, and have a six year old. I want to get myself healthy to hopefully avoid some of the medical issues that my family has struggled with. I also want to be healthy so that when I get pregnant again there aren't as many risks. Like Ryan told me one time, sometimes you have to make the hard choices. Put yourself and your needs before your wants. As much as I want another child, I need to be healthier first.

I guess we'll see where this plan leads over the next three years. I have good hopes. I work well with plans and goals.