(I posted this on my 365 project, but I wanted to share it here. And I swear, I'm going to post more. Things have been hellish lately.)
When I saw the theme for the week, I instantly thought of one person to
take a picture of. Problem - that person is who knows where in a
submarine. That person is my hero in more ways than I can share in the
space this box gives. He made a choice 14 years ago come January to
join the Navy. It was not a smooth ride at first, but he settled in his
current job. He loves his job, stress and all.
I've been wearing this necklace almost nine years. It was a gift from
him our first Christmas, shortly before our first patrol together. Over
the years, he has jokingly called it my fidget device. I've rubbed the
silver coating off of the front. His dog tags are on the necklace as
well. And the dolphins are a pin that have made their appearance before
in my project.
My husband helps keep me, our family, everyone safe. In trade for that
service, he sacrifices time with his loved ones. Misses first steps,
birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. It can be hell some days. I
wouldn't trade it for the world. I have my loving husband, who has
given me the world in our daughter.
And you know one of the best parts? Those videos of homecomings you see
on T.V.? The ones with the over flowing waterfall of emotion pouring
out of the loved ones? I've seen it. I've felt it. I've been there.
Waiting on pins and needles on a pier watching for the sailor with red
hair. Then getting that hug and kiss. Seeing the look on our
daughter's face - The "Where the hell have you been?" one. And just
wanting to keep touching his hand or his shoulder to make sure you
aren't dreaming. When incomplete, becomes complete again.
And hearing him say my name. He always chuckles softly when that's one of my first requests.
If you've made it through this, thank you. I'll admit I've been crying
during half of it, so I don't know if it makes much sense. This just
felt like one of those pictures and captions that had to be done.
It was 105 here in Phoenix yesterday. Supposed to be over 100 again today. So I have to wonder - is it really fall? LOL
I'm so done with summer, hot weather, and humidity. I'm ready for the cooler weather. And as much as I hate storms, I'm ready for rain. (I'm so not built for the desert.)
My time back here in Louisiana is coming to a close. It's been an interesting 5 months. I will say that the long nights have lead to lots of thinking. I got back into a lot of my old hobbies - writing, roleplaying and guiding. Writing is good for me. As Ryan tells me sometimes, I'm too artsie fartsie for my own sake. Writing gives me an outlet. Even if it just sits on my computer or in a journal. Roleplaying also gives me a creative outlet that I've been missing.
Also, the time here helped me stop some bad habits. I got too sucked into EQ2 before we left. It was causing my to neglect some of the real world, and I'm sorry for that. I do miss raiding, but I'm happy in my little nook of the world there now. Not to mention, I re-connected with some long lost friends. Silly rangahs and druids, among others!
For all the frustrations that a two year old brings, I've gotten to spend a lot of time with her and understand her a lot better. I've got to seem her start talking and turn into this sponge, craving knowledge. In some terms, she is a completely different kid from when we left. I does hurt me that Ryan misses some of these milestones. I guess that is why I try to take so many videos and photos. I also emailed him during patrol about all her adventures.
As I sit here listening to videos on Vevo, I just think about what all has happened. I'm getting insanely nervous for some reason about being back with Ryan, but I always get that feeling after a patrol. I do feel more "myself" than I have in awhile. We'll see if it holds out once we're back in Georgia. I think and hope it will. I have proven to myself that I can make life work when Ryan is gone. I needed to prove that to myself.
Now coming up we have the hard part of this trip - the saying good bye. Those always kill me. This will also be the first time that Alison's been old enough to "get" that part. It's always bitter sweet. I'm happy beyond belief to be back with Ryan, but sad to know my parents will be upset. We'll be back here after the first of the year though to finish work on my mouth. Not to mention the ever fun, getting back used to being around Ryan. I do think that part is hard for him, especially with Alison. I just have to remember to be patient. (Someone remind me to be patient...LOL)
My hopes for vacation: - Alone time with my hubby (I love my daughter...but I haven't gotten much alone time with Ryan in her almost 3 years on this Earth. lol) - Seeing what Ali thinks of Phoenix and the road trip. She seemed to have a ball on the Louisiana leg of this adventure. Now she has loads more words, so that will be fun. - To take Alison to see pandas. Oh this will be interesting. She's also requested to see a mountain. (She currently thinks that anything hill-like, taller than her, is a mountain...) - To just have fun and attempt to not stress. (I fully expect Ryan to get me drunk to keep me from stressing...LOL. Or knock me over the head with a rock.)
And of course, to conclude this rambling mess...some of my favorite videos from this summer:
I love just about anything Shakira. The woman has always fascinated me. I'd love to see her in concert one day. And speaking of here...this is another video of her's that I love:
I am absolutely amazed with the dance routine. It's beautifully passionate. Never seen anything like it. Love it!
Yes, I discovered Adam Lambert. This song is the cause. Yes, he is a little quirky, but some of the songs are rather catchy. And listening to this song, I've officially been married to Ryan too long. I catch myself figuring out parodies. When he sings the line, "I've got a boots on.." my mind sings "I've got my stripper heels on." (Which is actually a line later in the song. LOL)
I hope everyone has had a good summer. I should still be able to blog/get online some from the in-laws house. Stay safe!
